This is going to be a quick post, and I know I haven't written since surgery and I will definitely hash that out later, but I've decided to go back on the dating scene after processing my breakup with L last August at the encouragement of my friends, and I tell ya: THIS IS SOME COMPLEX SHIT.
I've never dated more than one person at a time. Mainly, I'm just an intensely monogamous person, so when I find someone I want to invest in, I develop a type of emotional tunnel vision and can't pass out my affections to other men willy nilly. Right now, that's intensely difficult. I went back on the dating site that I met my last two serious relationships on, and right away, I got a lot of attention. WEIRD. One that I met on Valentine's Day was a douche, but I met another guy a few days later who is absolutely phenomenal. I adore the shit out of him, but he's recently out a of a long-term and very serious relationship and justifiably wants to take it slow. I want him to take it slow too, but it's difficult, because there are other guys who are sweet and adoring and funny who are also interested. Universally, we all concur on just dating for now, but I feel extremely conflicted trying to date more than one at a time.
So are we just hanging out? Is there some exclusivity I'm supposed to abide by? What am I supposed to disclose and keep secret? Because, let's be honest, I have no filter and keep very little secret.
I suppose this is all "better" than having romantic inclinations for the unattainable (a previous prof, nothing more need be said) and staying single for no other reason than to avoid what made me unhappy in the past at the risk of achieving the unique happiness of laughing through life with someone else.
GUH. JUST GIMME WHAT I WANT, UNIVERSE.
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