.

I'm profoundly depressed right now, for a lot of very valid reasons. Normally I'd need to write a post to see the validity, but luckily I married the right person, and he validates my stress and anxiety when I share them with him. But that sharing occurs often, and I feel like a wholly burdensome partner, so I'm trying to get it out here and not weigh him down any further.

I don't have the energy to describe all of the factors that are leading to this point. A big reason my coping ability is so low is the intense, prolonged knee pain I've been in for the last 18 months. I don't have it in me to deal with manufactured in-law drama, school drama besides getting there and back and finishing my million assignments on-time, maintain a house, and still be a good person. So I'm withdrawing into myself, bit by bit, and becoming more apathetic than I've ever been. It's a hard place to be. I put all my emotional energy into my nursing and then into my marriage, and there's nothing else left.

December 15 is my last day of my BSN, and I can't wait. Next semester it's just residency and an online class, and taking (AND PASSING!) my NCLEX. Then working. Contuining with my Masters, although with how I'm feeling right now, I don't know if I'll continue anytime soon, or even at APU.

I'm living an emotionally devastated life, and I don't know how to change it, except to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And it's killing me.