I've lost my will to write.
I think of poems and they leak around my teeth like water in the shower.
I think of stories and as soon ad a relationship is creative and strung together, I forget it, and it is unraveled.
I'm 27 now. I feel like nothing has changed in the years I've graduated college. I've moved geographically, and I left a job that made me suicidal, but still I'm just a paper pusher. My job is a far cry from a career, and my boss is offended I think so.
I try to think as my life beginning anew daily, but the wonder is fading. I'm too tired. I thought moving up here would be better for my writing...I thought I'd have written a novel by now, in these 10 months...but no. I've very little to show for it.
I'll work on it, but I'm not expecting much. Classes start September 24th, so I'll be working 7am-3:30pm Monday through Friday, going to classes from 6-10pm Monday through Thursday, working my second job Friday afternoon and over the weekend, and seeing my CASA during the weekend also. Along with studying. And trying to not neglect my dogs. And maintain a healthy emotional place. And not die.
Let's see it how it goes, shall we?
Wish me luck.
You give too much. Take more time for yourself.
ReplyDeleteGoes to show how a changing environment tends not to change life's situation much. People often think moving is some sort of escape from the past (not that you were trying to escape anything, I think you really needed to change up SoCal for sure) but it sure doesn't surprise me you're running into this particular wall. I think it's good to feel grateful that you'd probably have had this same experience in SoCal, but at least you have pretty redwoods and a beach next to you, amiright?!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you know who to come to when you need a shoulder. You have a lot of love in your life and a lot of people willing to put time aside to replenish your reserves, so when you need it, don't hesitate =)
I love you pokey boo! I can't wait to talk to you about Egypt - YOU WERE MEANT TO BE HERE and I'm convinced now you're more than 50% egyptian in a lot of ways. =) <3