Hermithood, I hear you calling me.

Emotionally, life has been exceptionally intense since the New Year. I've been sick since then, and I'm really...sick of it. I'm normally much healthier. I just have something that I can't shake. And being in the hospital really drained me, physically and emotionally.

As much as I loved the friends that came, there were some that should have been there and weren't. In no uncertain terms, they let me down. I felt... forgotten. And not worth their time or effort.

Now, after yet another heavily emotional situation, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm becoming that girl, and I don't want to be her. Why do I always do this? I saw a shirt the other day that said "I fall in love 2 times a day", and that's completely me. And as much as it hurts, I don't want to change it. It's just that sometimes, I wear myself down by being so open, feeling so much. And I'd rather be that way than apathetic, and I'm usually reeeeally good about keeping a happy medium, but I've thrown myself off kilter.

I need to pull myself back in. I need to regroup. Hermithood, I hear you calling me, and I'm both thankful and resentful of your siren song.

Things to focus on:
-school
-graduation
-apprenticeship at the city

Things NOT to focus on because RIGHT now, I can't do ANYTHING:
-medical bills
-a man I want and cannot have
-future employment

Things to contemplate when I can handle it:
-grad school
-plans to leave the country
-any concept of financial planning

The end, for now.