So, friends, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Maybe because I was overwhelmed with life flooding all over me, maybe because I was busy with finals and graduating, maybe because I didn't want to whine all over my blog more than I already had done. For whatever, I'm back.
I graduated college. Two Bachelor degrees, which is always nice. If I think positively, they were only 10K apiece. I started working for a great company a week after the school chapter ended, and while I won't say where it is, let me assure you that it is decent pay, very secure (unless I reeeeallly mess up), tons of hours, and benefits. That's all I wanted from work, really, so I'm a happy camper.
My personal life has been one long, stymied mess though. Thankfully I didn't get too wrapped up in my ex-partners crap, so when we ended, I wasn't demolished. But still, it hasn't been the most amazing of experiences, and while I'm happy being single, I'm also open to the possibility of someone better. I'm not going to let this recent bad experience mar my hopes about partnership.
I feel like this recent melee has helped me walk gracefully around a turning point that has been impassable for my adult life. For once, I never questioned my value as a person; I was only angry that he would choose someone we all know is a step down from me as his partner. But it's a remarkable thing, to be free of doubt. Of that particular brand of insecurity. And I know that, if I'm so inclined, I can find someone who will suit me better. I no longer have the I'm-in-a-relationship blinders on, and I can keep my eyes wide open.
I'll leave you with the lyrics to a great song and the recommendation that you listen to it!
Evolve, by Kevin Quinn.
If you wanna revolution the only solution
evolve gotta evolve
If you wanna revolution the only solution
evolve gotta evolve
if you gettin' off track and you wanna get back
it may take a lot of work won't break your back
If you wanna revolution the only solution
evolve gotta evolve
No matter what they do they can't break your stride
Revolution is a thing that starts inside
throw your hands up cuz you're frisked with pride
hold your head high no need to hide
EVO LVE come on get inside,
come on rock with me.
if you want a revolution the only solution, evolve (gotta evolve)
GOT TO EVOLVE! if you want a revolution, you got to evolve.
OHH BABY! if you wanna a revolution
the only solution, evolve
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYgFjBDoHNA
I love you. Have a good weekend. I'm off to do laundry while it's still early and energy costs are low!
I have often checked your blog (I have it saved under "favorites") to look for new entries--and to no avail, of late, so it was nice to finally see one. :-) Not that I'm judging...I used to blog, but you don't see me doing that anymore, now do you? I am impressed that through your latest relationship drama you "never questioned [your] value as a person." Some people never come to the point of realizing how important that is--and that that, in fact, is the basis for eventually having truly meaningful relationships. (Which is not to suggest you haven't had meaningful relationships--I'm sure you know what I'm saying).
ReplyDeleteOn the job side...I'm sure you know that you are fortunate, in this economy, to have a "secure", full-time job that pays decent (no matter what degrees you do or don't have). I hope you also enjoy it (or at least have fun people to work with...) Then you are truly blessed! Of course...what one brings to the job is often more important than what the job inherently possesses. Something tells me that you bring PLENTY to the job. :-)))
I am happy for you, Erin, and I hope life continues to pour good things into your lap.
Erin, graduating from college is fabulous, it cloes the door on being a student and opens the door to being a master. (although I contend being a life long student goes hand and hand with mastery. I think it is great you blog and write, it is through writing we discover our voices, our selfs as we constantly make decisions about what we are writing about. I write every day...and it's not always good writing, however like any muscle, it takes working regulary. You, my dear, are well on your way to life that is your own!
ReplyDeleteSo why do I write? Where am I going as a writer? To affinity and beyond. I write because I am. I write because my grandmother told me stories that fascinated me, my father lived a life worth telling, my mother screamed so much that I was driven to hide and read. I write for all the wrong reasons, and couple of good ones too. I write to stop the clock, say something else, or something more. I have no idea why I write other than to say:
Outside of Cripple Creek, CO.: my Great Grandfather Ben Liggett and his brother Jacob was taking their two mules into town with a load of popcorn cob kernals. The damn mules were stubborn and didn’t want to crest a hill with the heavy load. So, Ben thought hard how to get the two old mules to budge and get the kernals into town in time for the farm auction. He pulled out a bale of hay he had intended to feed the mules later, and sat it under the rear quarters of the mules. He pulled out a match, and lit the bale of hay on fire. The mules stood there for a bit while the fire grew in intensity, uneasy. Finally, the mules took off, just as the fire rolled up and onto the brace of the wagon they were hauling. The mules were free of the wagon, and it burst into flames, the heat roasting kernals until they began to pop. Ben and Jacob stood back, the mules were far in the distance heading to town below, and they stood in the shower of popcorn as it snowed around them. Ben tasted a handful of the popcorn and sighed. It was his best crop yet. He was hoping to sell it at the auction that afternoon and take the money and buy pea seeds for a fast fall crop. Ben and Jacob couldn’t put the fire out, the wagon burned to the ground. He was going to have a fine time explaining this one to great-great grandma Buelah. She wasn’t one to take this kind of thing lightly.
You're amazing my dear, and I'm glad you're blogging again (check out mine too, everymomentofyourlife.blogspot.com).
ReplyDelete