Be yourself, and be thankful.

It's Thanksgiving. I'm sure that blogs about being thankful are going to be springing up everywhere on the interwebs, but I have to say, (and NO, please don't interpret this as me being pretentious or whatnot): the feelings of gratitude I have today are not different from what I feel on every aware day.

By aware day, I mean the times that I can pull my head out of the daily craze and haze and pay attention to what I have and be utterly gratuitous for it. The days it's just me and divinity and the love I have for it all. Which are more occuring more frequently, I'm happy to say. I don't know what the difference is...age, settling into my own skin? Whatever the cause, being thankful is a frequent thing for me now.

My cousin Tam got engaged last night to a really good guy. I've liked him for her since he came to meet the whole family like a champ, and last night he proposed to her. They're this wonderful couple; artistic, supportive of each other, plugged in to God, morality, and ethics. As I've grown older and so have the members of my family, I've noticed that I have an intense pride about who we all are. We're nothing phenomenal in terms of degrees or accomplishments or wages, but those don't define the greatness of people anyway, do they? We're such good people. The aspects of us as unit that marred my earlier memories (the pettiness, resentment, et cetera) has faded now, and we're wonderful. I love seeing them, and talking to them, and hearing about their lives.

All of my families are such blessings. I look at my life and more often than not, marvel. I was listening to that "Eat, Pray, Love" trailer and when Julia Roberts says "I want to go somewhere I can marvel", it made me think about how lucky I am that I can do that any time I focus on what I have and not on what isn't going my way.

Another thing I read today that made me happy was from my friend's blog. Friend? Hm. Ex-lover, really. We never talked much before or after our interlude, but I was a notable threshold before he left on this epic life journey, and we've been keeping in contact since. Anyway, he's lost a lot of weight since he left, and he was so full of self-loathing when I knew him that this new shedding is completely redefining how he sees himself. I naturally look at myself when I read his deep, introspective thoughts about how he's changing and I wonder: why don't I think those things? Or even along those lines? And then it hit me.

I never hated myself. Never really loathed me. I got surgery to help with my pain and my health, not because I hated being big. Now that I've lost weight, I can't imagine going back to the size I was and I monitor it closely, but I don't think so much on weight-loss like him and other friends I know because I wasn't disgusted with myself beforehand. That's nice to know. Another inherent gift to be thankful for.

Those are enough early morning ramblings for one day. I hope you have a great holiday with your family, reader.

Love,
Erin