Can't get over the good.

So, I've been hesitating on writing because my life has been craptastic. Within a day, life and plan and things in general deteriorated, and of course it just snowballed. Car exploded, missed my friend's going away party, hurt my arm, got rear ended in traffic en route to ER, et cetera et cetera. Things since have, predictably, been stressful, but it hasn't been that bad.

Oh yeah, I'm single again. Josh, good guy that he is, only lasted two weeks. Annnnd another one bites the dust.

So, yeah. Single, facing financial crap shoot, in a butt-ton of pain, and yet, I still don't feel like everything is as bad as it seems. Maybe it's the darvacet. But that's besides the point. While mildly depressed, I was definitely not in a full on bummer. Just a mild case of the fuuuuucks.

Let me tell you what's been making me so happy.

1.) I've had a lot of customers that have been super sweet lately. Always a perk. And them remembering my name and silly facts about me as much as I remember those same silly nothings about them makes me feel like more of a human and less of a droid. Perk.

2.) I have amazing friends. It's hard to be depressed when I know that if I needed anything, I could reach out to them. Granted, I haven't done much of that lately, but it's not because I don't love you. It's because just the thought of you sustains me.

3.) My heart beats faster every day for ever-shifting reasons. I get a special hug, or kiss the soft jaw underside of someone I adore, or remember a nice gesture my brother made, or whatever. Adam will tell me he misses his Erin and where the hell am I? My dad will tell me he loves me four times before I leave the room. My boss will put a blooming gardenia on my desk because he's awesome, or because I love them, or because he knows the story of my parents...it doesn't matter which.

There is so much beauty in this life. The bad, even when it coalesces into one big shit ball that explodes on the windshield of your big life road trip and makes you smell, really doesn't effect anything it all. You just wipe it away and continue the drive.

Love you,
Erin