DAMNIT.

I hate liking boys, sometimes, especially when it explodes from like to full-blown crush status.

Because, really, I seriously like Cesar. As in, wish we were seriously dating. I have to catch myself from tilting up my face to kiss him when he hugs me goodbye because I'm so emotionally disposed to him.

But there are other guys that I'm interested in and, newsflash, actually interested in me! So here's the conundrum; even though it feels somehow wrong, and almost like cheating, should I go ahead and date these other guys because they're clearly into me, unlike Cesar? Hope for the best with them?

Because I wonder a few things. I make it sooo obvious, but what if Cesar is actually clueless to how I really feel about him and then later realizes it and I've already invested time and effort into a relationship with someone else? Would I ditch them for him? That's not fair to them. Should I even ethically try to get into a relationship with someone else when I'm so focused on him?

FML.

Please give me your opinions. I need advice.

Also, to allay the big question: Why don't I just TELL him? Because we work together, and I see him almost every day. If he flat out rejected me, I'd be burned but okay in a few days, but it's not fair to put him on the spot that way, and he could just pass off my flirting (like he has been) and continue to joke about it because he's not actually into me, and he's rather just keep it as an amicable working environment.

Fuck it, I'm just going to forget about him and move on.

But...BUT...damnit.